All my life I’ve been a night owl. Even as a kid, I would stay up late reading books or drawing because my creative juices flow fastest at night. During the early morning and late afternoon my brain turns to mush, but during the middle of the night?? I am ON.
As I was going through my Google Analytics looking for my top 10 posts of 2017, I noticed something about my blog that I thought was interesting. Most of the posts in my top 50 best posts were actually from 2014. It took me quite a few scrolls to get through the list of top pageviews to find ten from 2017.
Apparently I was a blogging fool back in 2014.
When I mentioned it to my husband, he said “Well, yeah…that was back in your 4 am days.” And when I thought it about it… he’s right. Back in 2014 there were many, many, MANY nights that I would stay up until 2, 3 and sometimes 4 o’clock in the morning working on blog posts. This might sounds nuts to some of y’all, but if you’re a night owl like me you totally understand where I’m coming from.
Back then I could get the family in bed, head upstairs to my desk, strap on my headphones, crank up my “Get Shizz Done” playlist and BOOM… The creativity would start a-flowin’ and goin’ without any writer’s block at all. I would usually hit my stride about midnight and sail right into the middle of the night, chair-dancing in front of my computer and throwing down some witty commentary.
All this after working a full day at work, too. Ugh, I was so dang productive back then.
But guess what wasn’t in my life back in 2014?
My sweet Caroline.
This girl came along and totally burned my productivity to the ground.
She is awake at 5:30 am, every single day, without fail. And when she’s up, she’s UP– hanging halfway over the edge of her crib screaming “I WANT OUT!!!!”. To answer your question, no, we have not yet transitioned to a toddler bed because I’m not ready to wake up to the police knocking on my door holding my half-naked toddler who decided to go out for a pre-dawn car ride all by herself. Because that would totally happen. I cannot take my eyes off of her for more than a minute without her getting into SOMETHING in this house.
And I dunno about y’alls kids, but everything we do is a battle with her. Every.single.thing.
Shoes, coats, hair brushing, bath time, bedtime…. it’s all a battle of wills. She wants her shoes on, then screams to take them off, then cries to put them back on. Round and round we go until we are all exhausted from the effort.
Two years old is REALLY FREAKING HARD, y’all.
I am having to learn to pick my battle wisely with this bipolar little toddler.
She’s also fearless.
This chick explores her world like a WWE wrestler standing on the corner of the ring about to plummet sixteen feet through the announcer’s table. And I’m just the referee cowering in the corner with my hands over my head trying not to get hit by a flying folding chair.
She crashes through life with an unbridled joy and headstrong will, determined to do things her way or no way. She’s strong. She’s tough. She’s friends with the monster that’s under her bed and gets along with the voices inside of her head. And I love that about her, most of the time. I just wish she had a snooze button.
So, this is my night owl’s dilemma.
There is just no way I could go to bed at 4 am and get back up at 5:30 without keeling over dead as a doornail. These days I fall into bed at 7:30 or 8 pm, exhausted and aching and I sleep right through my most productive hours of the day (ok, night) so that I can get up and do it all again tomorrow.
If you’ve ever skimmed through my blog archives and wondered what changed here on the ol’ blog between the years of 2014-2018… there’s your reason. My creativity has been crushed. I’m just a hollow, exhausted shell of the person that I used to be.
I know that all of you experienced mamas are saying right now, “If you think two is hard… Just wait until she’s a teenager!” Yeah, I know, I know… But hey, at least when she’s a teenager I’ll be able to put my night owl skills to good use while waiting up on her to get home for curfew.
If you guys can just hang around for about 10 more years maybe I’ll get my blogging mojo back.