I just love working out. It’s my favorite thing in the wholedamn world. That place makes me giddier than Tom Cruise on Oprah. I mean, I just want to pitch a tent right on top of the treadmill and lick the crevices of a sweaty Ab Lounger every night. It’s THAT freaking wonderful.
Just because I adore it so much, here is my ode to the gym:
Because I’ve never worn a stiletto
or flaunted a bikini beneath a palmetto
I go to the gym
And risk life and limb
To eliminate my booty d’ghetto.